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It's early in the morning at the beach, with a large beach resort that consists of many things such as hotel rooms, pools, sports clubs, and a boardwalk. Seagulls are chirping and large waves are crashing against the shore, which make everything sound very peaceful. “Okay, enough of the happy moments!” shouts Oweguy, who's wearing a Hawaiian-styled shirt with a floral pattern. He pops in front of the camera and begins to talk. “Lemme begin what I was saying.” He clears his throat and continues. “Welcome to my all-new beach resort! This place has everything from sports clubs to a huge boardwalk, and it was built by yours truly!” “Yo, dude, it was us who did all of the work, you lazy bum!” yells a construction worker from behind Oweguy. “Shhhh!” Oweguy whispers. "Since I'm the host, I'm taking all the credit!” He then turned the camera away from them. “Anyway, this place will also be the place where 22 all-new contestants from various locations compete to win an all-new amount of money! Aaaaand, joining me as my co-host is my beautiful wife, Marine!” “Hey,” says Marine coolly. She appears next to Oweguy, wearing purple clothing, short shorts, and sandals. She then blushes, and says, “Sorry, I didn’t know I would be on camera so soon. It took me a while to get my hair to be extra-perfect.” “It’s good enough, sweetie," says Oweguy. “Anyway, it looks like the first contestant is here, so be sure to give her a warm welcome!” A large taxi arrives, revealing the first contestant. She is a nice-looking woman wearing a red shirt and blue jeans. “Hi, everybody," she says cheerfully. "It's great to be here!" “Welcome to Total Drama, Margaret! How's the fam?" Oweguy says. “Well, I'm a mother of three back home," she says. "You know, it's really tough sometimes, but I usually like it." "Whoa, that's a lot of kids!" says Oweguy happily. "Well, me and Marine have one kid at home, we're not ready to have a second one." Marine nods happily. “Oh, that's cool, take your time," giggles Margaret. “They're a hassle sometimes, but they're really sweet." “Wow, you seem like a really nice mom, I hope me and Owe can raise kids like you,” says Marine. Margaret nods happily, and soon enough, the next contestant arrives in a taxi. He's a gothic-looking boy who looks extremely angry and intimidating. “Hey, welcome to Total Drama!” greets Oweguy. "Shut up, you moron, and leave me alone!" yells the guy, as he walks over to Margaret. “Aw, come on, dude. What did I say that was offensive?" Oweguy asks. “I don't give a crap," yells the boy. “Uh, I should probably get out my cue cards..." says Oweguy, reaching into his pockets. He takes out a small piece of paper and says, "Oh, yeah. You're Dusk, right?" “Yeah, you moron..." Dusk says. "My real name is Steven, but if you call me that, I'll stuff a knife down your throat." Oweguy shivers, and the next taxi arrives. A morbidly obese boy wearing a blue shirt and eating various fast food items walks out, and burps loudly. “Yo, what's up, Oran!" says Oweguy happily, introducing him. “Sup?" he asks, burping loudly again. "Ew, you're gross, get away from me, you fat @#$%," yells Dusk. “I think you should cut down on the snacks," Margaret says wisely. "It's not healthy." “Yeah, y'know, I’ve been trying,” says Oran as he pulls out a corn dog. “It hasn’t really been working out, though.” “You remind me of Pat a little bit, you know, that one dude from Total Drama Oweguy?” says Marine. “Mm-hm, he's my cousin. That explains the resemblance, a huh huh huh,” laughs Oran, with most of his corn dog already gone. “Wow, that's cool,” says Marine surprised. “You two look a lot a like, you could even be brothers!" “Nah, we’re cousins,” says Oran, while finishing his corn dog. Soon, the next taxi arrives, and drops off a buff-looking guy in athletic clothing. “This is the next contestant, Radley!” announced Oweguy. “Yo, guys, what's up?” he says. “How's it hanging? You all look chill.” He walks over to Oran, and then screams, “Fat! Fat! Fat!” “Lolwut?" asks Marine. “Uh, sorry," says Radley, breathing heavily. “I didn’t mean to react like that, fat dudes and lack of exercise in general just make me feel weird, y'know?" “It’s all right, dude," says Oran. “I'm pretty used to be called fat. I just shrug it off, mostly." “Yeah, I exercise a ton,” says Radley, starting to flex his biceps. "I’ve been doing sports for a pretty long time. Just like you and your eating... Wait, maybe that was uncalled for..." “Muh,” says Oran, licking an ice cream cone. “Where are you getting all that food from?” asks Oweguy, surprised. “I'm a cartoon character, dude. I have unlimited pockets," guffaws Oran. Another taxi pulls up to the slowly forming group, with an attractive blonde girl wearing summer clothes walking out. “Everybody, this is Kaylie!” announces Oweguy. “Hi, guys!” she greets. “It’s great to be here! I really love how this place is right near the ocean, it's so pretty!” “Just like her," whispers Radley to Dusk. "She's ugly, idiot," responds Dusk. "Marine's more my type. Mmm-hmm." “But yeah, I really love the ocean!” Kaylie says. “I’m a marine biologist in training, and I’ve even befriended some cute marine mammals, like a seal, some dolphins, and even a whale!" “Aw, that's so nice,” says Margaret happily. “Hey, you. Do you happen to live inside the whale?” snarks Dusk. “Eww, gross, no!” Kaylie says with an annoyed expression. “Buuuut, sometimes I go in it to clean up the icky stuff." “Oh lawd dat nasty,” says Radley. Suddenly, the contestants hear an electric guitar playing from the distance. A taxi pulls up soon, with a punk-looking girl with half a shaved head and a guitar stepping out. “Ladies and gentlemen, hold your applause," says the girl. “Aaaand, here's Kenzey!” says Oweguy. “Vas happenin'?" greets the girl. “Y'know, I can't tell if she's playing with us, or actually attempting to make conversation,” whispers Oran. “Maybe she’s doing both. But whatever, she's hot,” whispers Radley. Kenzey then joins the others, as the next contestant walks out from the taxi. He is a short, nerdy-looking boy with comically large glasses and untied shoes. “This is Leland!” announces Oweguy. "Nerrrr. Hey, everyone," he says in a nerdy-sounding voice, not sounding excited. “Aren’t you excited about getting a chance to win a million dollars?” says Margaret curiously. “A little bit, but you know, I’m worried about getting bullied," says Leland timidly. He then trips on his shoelaces due to them being untied. Radley stifles a small laugh. “Why do I keep forgetting to tie those shoes up?” Leland says. "Aww, I feel sorry for him," Kaylie says, and Margaret nods her head in agreement. Another taxi arrives, dropping off an attractive, muscular Hispanic guy. “Hey, Romero, what's up?" Oweguy says, greeting the next contestant. “It's verrrry nice to be here, Owe," he says, with a slight Spanish accent. “What a looovely group of contestants that we have here." “Pssh. Yeah, right," grumbles Dusk. “Aww, thank you! You're pretty attractive yourself...” gushes Kaylie. “Ohhh, thank you, missy! Yes, I've been told a lot... You are veerrry beautiful, lassie," says Romero. Kaylie smiles faintly. More loud music comes on, as the next contestant walks out of the taxi. He's a boy in a blue disco-like outfit and a gigantic afro, and is carrying a jukebox that's blaring dance music. “Aaaaand, here we have Jensen!” announces Oweguy. “Dude, that music sure is loud, mind turning it down?" “Nah, man. My music wants to be free. You obviously don't know that I'm a big partier. YOLO or die, d00d!" Jensen says loudly. “Hey, you! Aren't you that annoying guy that crashed my b-ball team's party?” asks Radley, looking suspiciously at Jensen. “Oh, yeah. That was so totally awesome!" says Jensen. “Why do you care?” Suddenly, a punch sound is heard off-screen with everyone "Yeesh"-ing and turning away. “That's for ruining my party, you turd!” shouts Radley. Jensen staggers away from Radley, his face covered in bruises. “Sorry," says Jensen. “I just wanted to pep up the party... It was all fun and games, man.” The next contestant arrives, this time it's a happy-looking, attractive girl with pink hair and a shirt depicting a cartoon character. “Everybody, this is Bonnibel!” announced Oweguy. “Hey, that’s my sister!” says Kaylie in shock. “Ohhh, I see the resemblance!" says Margaret. . “Hi, everybody!” says Bonnibel cheerfully. “Hello, sissy!” She then walks over to Kenzey, saying in a monotone voice, “Muh. Hi, Kenzey.” “Hel-loooooo, Bonnibel.” says Kenzey in a sickeningly happy tone. “Yeah, the two aren't really the biggest fans of each other...” explains Kaylie. “Mmmm, I can tell," says Romero. "I think we all should just get aloooong." The next taxi arrives soon after, dropping off an Asian girl in a battle suit, with a katana sword strapped to her back. “Please welcome Akari, who's a warrior from Japan!” announces Oweguy. “Greetings," she says while honorably bowing. “Very nice to be here..." “Great to have you here as well," says Oweguy. “I’m sure you’ll have fun, just don't really hurt anyone with that sword of yours, haha!" "I don't find that funny at all," Akari says toughly. She walks over to Leland, and says, "What are you looking at?" "Well, uh, you remind me of that girl Sammy from Road Battler 4... Nerrrr," says Leland. "I don't play video games. Warriors have busy schedules," Akari says, scoffing. "You should know that, gnome." Leland cowers in fear. "Please don't bully me!" Akari looks at him like there's something wrong with him. "Uh, sorry... I don't really like bullies, as you can see... Sorry." "I am not a bully. I fight the bullies," Akari says. "Like that guy." She points to Radley, who's shown lifting weights and saying "swag" every time he lifts one. The next taxi arrives, and a girl with a green parrot on her shoulder and a zookeeper outfit walks out cheerfully. “Hi, Isley, how was the ride?" asks Oweguy. “Hello, are you Oweguy? Seems like a nice place," Isley says. "Thank you for asking about my ride, it was fun, heehee." “Nice bird. I may or may not be thinking about how much I want to fry it," Oran mutters. “Nah, you wouldn't want to eat it... It's a sheltered bird," says Isley. “I healed it when it hurt its wing a while ago, and it doesn’t like to be alone, so now it follows me! I named it Polly, nice name, huh?" "No," mutters Dusk. "That's the most cliché name for a bird ever. Asdfghkl, you need to think of a better name. I'm gonna barf." “You’re in luck, Isley!" says Oweguy happily. “My resort thankfully allows pets. It's basically because the people that have arrived so far have had pets. For some reason, one of them was a bear..." “wut” says Radley. “Oh, haha, that's gotta be Izzy from Total Drama Island,” says Marine. “Probably,” said Kaylie. “I think beats have some weird attraction to her..." “Just like every giiiiirl has a weird attraction to me," winks Romero. The next taxi arrives, dropping off an Italian-looking guy with a handlebar mustache and a bunch of art supplies. “Please welcome the next contestant, Leonardo!" says Oweguy. “Ooh, is it the ninja turtle?!" asks Oran excitedly. “No...” says Oweguy dryly. "Just look at him. Does he look like a turtle?" “No, I am-a not a turtle," Leonardo says with a heavy French accent. "Bonjour, mes amis. I am a skilled artist, as-a you can already tell 'cuz of my art supplies and whatnot." “We can tell by your clothing, dude..." says Radley boringly. The next taxi drops off a guy wearing a giant costume resembling a character from a video game. “WTF?!” yells Dusk. “Uh, the next contestant is…Mudkip?” says Oweguy, confused. "OMG GUYS I FREAKING LOVE POKEMON! Mudkip is my favorite, he's totally awesome and amazing and I love water types and blargity blargh. I own every single game, even like the obscure N64 ones! Even Hey You, Pikachu! I JUST LOVE POKEMON JSFGBTJGVSRD," says Mudkip. “Wow, that's cool, my favorite is Pikachu, it's so cuuuute," Kaylie gushes. “Mine’s Jigglypuff, it's pink like me!” says Bonnibel. “Oh, yeah, mine is totally Machamp," says Radley. “A huh huh huh, figures," chuckles Oran. “You're both big and muscly and stuff." “Yup. The kids at school call me Machamp...” brags Radley. "Probs because of my buff bod." Mudkip walks towards the others, accidentally bumping into some of the contestants including Dusk, who gets extremely angry and says something vulgar. Another burp is then heard. “I thought you stopped eating, Oran," says Kaylie. "You should try to control your appetite... Don't wanna end up like Manuel Uribe." “Oh, no, that wasn't me burpin', it came from over there," Oran points to the next taxi, which is dropping off an overweight girl. Radley looks quite nervous once again. “Next up, we have Ysabelle," says Oweguy. “O hai," Ysabelle says, burping while eating a slice of pizza. “I still don’t understand where they get all of that food...” says Oweguy. “Cartoon pockets, dude!" says Oran. "I thought I said that about 11 contestants ago." Ysabelle walks over to the others while the next taxi arrives, dropping off a tan-skinned girl in a maroon dress. “Aaaand, this is Gieselle,” says Oweguy. “Sup," she says, looking extremely bored. “Why the long face, quuuurl?” asks Radley. “I'm secretly a horse," says Gieselle with absolutely no emotion. "Nah. I've got a crappy modeling career. I came here to get away from it. It, like, totally sucks." “Why don't ya just quit?" suggests Oran. “I tried to... But, of course, it didn’t work," says Gieselle. "My boss is a huge jerk..." “Cheer up, Charlie. Maybe we can help,” says Kenzey sarcastically. The next taxi arrives soon after, dropping off a guy who looks like some sort of detective with a trench-coat, a hat, and a magnifying glass. “This is the detective Sherloch!” introduces Oweguy. “Apparently, he’s a skilled detective, and has a part-time job with the police department. Cool, huh?" “Hmmmm, yes," Sherloch says with a Boston accent. "I will use my skills to deduce how you found that out..." “Uh, you know, it was on your application," Oweguy says. "What's up?" “Not much,” says Sherloch. “I needed a long break from my detective work, it's very taxing.” “Ugh," groans Oran. “I'm crappy with detective stuff, my brain doesn't think about much except being obese and eating." “Yah, what he said,” says Ysabelle, who then burps. The next taxi arrives, dropping off a girl with a farmer's getup. “This is Dixie, who owns a farm and happens to be Pete's sister," explains Oweguy. "Who's Pete? I love how you assume that everyone here happens to know who the peeps from older seasons are," Kenzey says coolly. "I don't watch Total Drama, y'know, I don't have a TV. Music's where it's at." “Howdy, y'all," says Dixie, with a Southern accent. “Y'all seem purdy nice, I s'pose." “I assume you haven't met me yet...” says Dusk nonchalantly. “You seem nice as well!” says Margaret. "Uh, not Dusk. Dixie, I mean." “Haha, I like to think that! Thanks, girlie!" says Dixie. “My sister and her boyfriend know your brother, I'm pretty sure,” says Isley, with Polly on her head. “They’re pretty good friends.” “Yeah, everyone in our family are pretty friendly. Except Ol' Uncle Harry, he's always drunk an' doing nasty things with th' cows. Don't feel like talking about it," says Dixie. "Hey, y' look like a horse!" She points to Gieselle. “Been there, done that,” says Gieselle dryly. “Pssh. Everyone here is annoying," says Dusk to himself. While Dixie joins the others, Oweguy turns around and sees a boy breathing heavily behind him, with an Oweguy-brand shirt and a creepily large smile. Oweguy then screams loudly. “Who are you and where are you from?!” he shouts. “OMG! It's really you! I'm Oweboy, your self-proclaimed biggest fan! Let's do brainteasers together!” squeals the boy. “Marine, uh, is this kid a contestant?” asks Oweguy. “Unfortunately... Yes,” says Marine, reading her cue card. “Somehow, I have trouble believing that his real name is Oweboy..." “There’s no way you’re going to be my sidekick...” says Oweguy. “I don't care about that, I'm within 3 feet of you, that's all I care about!!!” squeals Oweboy. “Just go join the others!” shouts Oweguy, pushing him away to the others. “So, is that everyone?” “Nope, there’s still one more contestant left to introduce," says Marine. "It's Janey." “Well, where is she?” asked Oweguy. Suddenly, everyone hears someone screaming like Tarzan, and a girl wearing loincloths and swinging on a vine lands near the other contestants. “What's up, gaiz?” she asks happily. “I'm so stoked to be here! Sure enough, I'm Janey, and I'm from the jungle! Ooh ooh ah ah!" “Is she a contestant?” asks Oweguy. “Dude, you said that about Oweboy too. Of course she's a contestant, why would she be here if she wasn't?" Dusk snorts. “Well, there's the interns...” says Oweguy. “Anyway, that’s all of the contestants, sooooo now we can take a tour of the beach house!" “YAY! WALKING!” yells Janey. "I hate walking, my short an' stubby legs don't do it for me," sighs Oran. “I can’t wait to see what the beach looks like!” says Kaylie. “I’m sure it’ll look good," said Margaret. "Unless Oweguy is secretly Chris McLean." Oweguy leads the contestants to the main lobby. “This is the main lobby, obviously. It has the front desk, a romantic fireplace, and a fish tanks for the little kids to enjoy," explains Oweguy, pointing out the different stuff in the lobby. “AWESOME!" yells Oweboy. "I love everything you do and say, Owe! I even know that your real name is Mitchell!" “Uh, no, it's not... Are you sure you're getting this stuff from a credible source?" Oweguy says, leading the kids to a large pool. "And this here is the swimming pool, perfect for swim team practice or people who don’t really feel like swimming in the ocean, for whatever reason.” "Thanks for clarifying that it's a pool, I thought it was a football field," snorts Dusk. "OMG, me too!" says Bonnibel happily. “This is awesome!” said Radley. “Now I can practice for my next swim meet!” “This is the sports park, everyone!" says Oweguy, showing them an area consisting of a basketball court, a tennis court, a football field, a baseball field, and a golf course. “This place is for people to enjoy a good game of sports. Who doesn't like sports?" “MEEEE!" Ysabelle says loudly. “This here is the arcade room, where people are welcome to play these games if they’re willing to insert 25 cents into the machine, which may or may not steal your coin without letting you play. Not as cool as the Chris McCade, but whatever," explains Oweguy, showing them the arcade. “W00t!" Leland and Mudkip say simultaneously, high-fiving. “Here is the mess hall, where you’ll be served breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner," says Oweguy, with a bunch of interns behind the food stands making crappy food. “This place is making me hungry...” says Oran. “Me too!” says Ysabelle. "I might even eat one of the smaller contestants..." "Uh, no, I wasn't thinking of that," Oran says suspiciously. "More like some French fries and stuff like that. Yum yum yum in my tum tum tum." “And last but not least, here are the reserved bedrooms for you all," says Oweguy. “The room with the pink door is for the boys and the one with the blue door is for the girls. Reverse, huh? We're against sexism." “Whoo-hoo!” says Kenzey. “I abhor the color pink, it's way too bright for me. I prefer shades of purple, brown, and black.” "Shades of black? Do those even exiiiist?" Romero says. “Uh... Do we get room service to our rooms?” asks Oran, lickibh his lips. “No, you’ll have to go all the way downstairs in the cafeteria," says Oweguy. “Besides, a lot of our interns ended up in the hospital preparing for the season’s challenges. We deny everything." “Ouch..." says Margaret. “Oh, and one more thing to mention!" says Oweguy. “Okay, so if a team wins a challenge, they get to check out all of the awesome stuff here! The losing team, however, can’t access them. Well, that's what you get if you lose." “Crap!” yells Kenzey. “Adios, amigos!” said Oweguy. “Go get settled in your rooms, and in 15 minutes, I'll be in the lobby, giving you your teams, the first challenge, and all that boring crap." “This season is going to be awesome!” cheers Oweboy, bouncing up and down. “Can someone shut that dude up?” asks Dusk irritatedly. “I wish!” says Radley. Down in the lobby, Oweguy and Marine are shown discussing the season. “This is going to be the best season ever, because I really love how my new resort turned out! I also brought back some of those weird gadgets from last season, you know, the shrink ray and all that jazz?" says Oweguy, opening a curtain and showing his wife some of the gadgets. “Oh, man," says Marine. "Let's hope that this season doesn't turn into a fiasco... Owe, I have faith in you. I'm just worried about that jock dude, he's a screen-hog." “I think I'm gonna take him off of the spotlight for a while,” explains Oweguy. “What's going to happen, now that everyone has met everyone? Will they emerge victorious, or end up becoming one of those boring characters who nobody remembers? Find out next time, on Total Drama: Beach Party Mayhem!”